I have many imperfections, but one of the most challenging imperfection that I have dealt with, and continue to deal with, is my height. Standing at 5 feet 10 inches tall, I have always felt insecure about my height and how people perceive me. It all began when I was about 9 years old and in the 4th Grade. I never really realized how tall I was until then. I was either the same height or taller than many of the boys in my grade, and that, for one, was embarrassing. When I reached the 5th grade, my growth spurt REALLY hit. I was about 5'6, tall for a 10/11 year old, skinny, and very lanky. My skinniness and lankiness didn't really bother me because I was so hooked up on my awkward height. I remember boys always asking, "How's the weather up there?" and constantly questioning why I was so tall. It was embarrassing. I felt like a freak show. I always used to use those height calculators you find on those really crappy websites to find out how tall I would end up being as an adult. I remember typing in my mother's height, 5'3, and my father's height, 5'11, and getting a result of 6'2. Being young and naive at the time, I believed it and boy did I cry. Entering middle school, it wasn't too bad. The boys were finally beginning to hit their growth spurts and were, again, either as tall as me, or taller. In the eighth grade, even though most of the guys were taller than I was, I still felt very awkward and was very self conscious about my appearance. I then began to realize that I was tall, lanky, and skinny. Not only that, but I was struggling with another self-esteem issue, my physical looks, as in, my facial features. Going to a school where I was one of the very few African-American students, I felt as though I wasn't good enough. While attending that school, my self-esteem issues began to become more of a problem as I went from grade to grade. At 13, I finally entered an all girl's high school. I met so many girls that looked like me, African American, tall, and beautiful. I wanted to be like them because I admired their confidence and strength. I began to realize my own beauty and began to, for once, walk with my back straight and head high. I'm in my last year of high school, and although I still continue to struggle with my height and physical appearance, I try my hardest to love myself. Without being able to love myself, I have realized that I will never be able to love others. I encourage all the girls who struggle with their height, self-worth, and physical appearance to look in the mirror and remind YOURSELF that you are beautiful. If you don't, who will? Ignore what other people say. It is soooo hard, but, that doesn't mean that it isn't possible. Struggling with your self-esteem or self-worth, or have stories of you self-esteem "journey", comment below, I would love to read them and respond. Hopefully we can encourage each other and build a strong community of women accepting themselves the way they are.
"Love yourself Girl, or
nobody will, oh you a woman? I don't know how you deal with all the pressure to
look impressive and go out in heels, I feel for ya. Killing yourself to find a
man that'll kill for ya. You wake up, put makeup on, stare in the mirror but
it's clear that you can't face what's wrong, No need to fix what God already
put his paint brush on. . ." - J. Cole
0 comments:
Post a Comment